Blue

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Yes, I look at the autumnal orange of the sky

And melt,

Try to capture and recapture last evening’s purple on this day,

But when I stand at this hilltop,

Sapphire rooftops kissing the waking moon,

There is nothing more magical than blue.

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We Are Human

image-5Can we please talk about

the slow stillness of time, the quiet of the sound of my breathing. When I pick and unpick the broken glass, sweep aside shards that remain of nesting dolls, fit with patient fingers, torn photos in old frames, and wipe then the water from the fallen vase, lilies trampled upon, eaten by the soles of my boots

The mantelpiece is now a sporadic star lying shattered by my feet.

What of the humbling of my anger, who like a tired child has fallen asleep in a corner of the street after a fruitless riot, the snowflake that had balleted in grace, toes bleeding through silk shoes, that rests now on the warm ground? Let us write with beauty of inconsistencies, when I remade my home after knocking it down with one swift brush, romanticise my anger as you do my love.

Cookie-Dough

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I come back from work, worn out and spent. Each night, I wake up mid-sleep, as if I had never gone to bed.

I walk to the kitchen and start pulling out cans and jars. My eyes don’t even have to see where my hands are going anymore, I remember what bottle lies on which stack just as I know the alphabet.

I follow your recipe to the dot.

The same amount of flour, a cup full of sugar, little chips of chocolate hidden amidst the dough like gems in sand.

But I could never bake them like you did. So by the time I finish, the house starts to feel very empty again, without you and your sweet-smelling cookie dough.

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LITTLE THINGS

egg-crate

Dear June,

Some mornings I wake up only for you.

Thank you for embracing me without hurting my bones. For keeping the refrigerator stocked, filled to the brim with eggs.

For letting me walk you down the altar, weak and frail.

For forgoing not one, but two childhoods, yours and Susan’s, in my care.

I know living with me and my cancer is difficult, but thank you for never complaining about this untimely guest.

I will love you in life and in death, and I will try, for as long as possible, to be your

Mom